August 08, 2020
Marriage! Are you serious? Do we even know what to do when things don’t work in marriage? People feel stuck in their relationship even after five years of their love marriages. Who is there to address these issues?
These utterances are very common nowadays with young married couples and even older ones. In the 21st century, many of us who are independent by thoughts, non-compatible marriages have become a black hole engulfing our morals and self-respect completely. At the same time, it’s difficult to get out of it because of the fear of earning societal talks about one’s family culture.
Statistics of 2020 says the divorce rate in India is less than one per cent. Out of 1000 marriages, 13 results in divorce and others stay in their relationships, miserably, and live completely phoney lives. And if we don’t address these issues, the numbers can get appalling in the coming times.
India being the land of culture and tradition, citizens here follow the paths of their forefathers who never knew a word called divorce and always propagated the value of togetherness as a sacred affair throughout life. Don’t you think Premarital Education should be a part of our higher secondary education system?
The reason is deep and no one in our society wants to dig the roots of it. Our parents never talk about it before we are adolescents. Neither in schools nor in college, have teachers encouraged this topic to be talked about.
In this, the so-called modern world, young kids are dependent on the internet to know what and how of relationship, marriage, and sex. And the consequence is partially fragmented learning.
Later on, this creates havoc in one’s married life because the person never knew what to do when things don’t go well. Many couples choose relationship advisers to give them a way out to deal with their broken marriage which hardly works as the ground base is already weak.
The solution for this is to change our thought process. Before getting into a love relationship and marriage, one needs to chalk out the basics of it. There are a hundred other things in marriage apart from love and making babies. Managing finance, communication, helping each other grow, respecting values, trust and never giving up attitude for each other are few from the list.
It’s 2020- We need to address these issues. In India, monogamous marriage and family are the most successful institutions in human history. Rather than getting into the western culture of a live-in relationship, we can opt for better ways to pre-educate our children on marriage to choose their partners and live a happy married life.
Research on the collapsing family structure in India says the most possible challenges of unhealthy marriages are suicide, alcoholism, and single parenthood. What we need to follow is the Christian community model of encouraging pre-marital education.
Books like Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus, although part of pop psychology, can offer some sort of counseling to young couples contemplating marriage. In every other arena of life, we are acquainted with the system through an orientation program, be it in school, college, or even in a new job.
What we lack is ‘marriage education’. In the US state of Colorado, a marriage education bill was proposed. We have to think on similar lines. Hence, it’s high time for the Modi Government to take steps to bring marriage cards to books.
Such an important phase of anybody’s life should be taught through formalized education. There should be pre-marital courses available by governmental agencies teaching students about the problems of marriage and fixing them. Furthermore, awareness should start at home.
The parents need to take a call on their own upbringing and update their thoughts to break free the taboo of keeping silent for the word Sex or Marriage for their kids.
It’s important to understand these silly words are not that silly, they are going to make or break their future life. The best advice for any adolescent is to first go for reading books on relationships and opt to educate themselves before getting into marriage and related life.
This sort of education will provide an opportunity to learn new skills and tools that when put into practice, can strengthen their marriage life. This basic pre-marriage ritual should be made mandatory to help build healthy relationships, mental well-being, family stability, parenting practices, and positive child outcomes.
A successful and healthy marriage is more valuable than most of the temporal things we chase after with our lives. This is the base that can support you to stay strong for the rest of the chores of life. We need to ask ourselves, are we serious about addressing the issue of increasing suicides among married women, then we have to approach the root cause and get it repaired soon.
Article Written By Pratima Mahapatra
Image Source: Google
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