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Say Yes or Die: Is this the India we dreamt of?


We are living in a culture of denial of the self-evident. We have made denial the foundation of our perspective. Despite the fact that we all are very much aware of reality, we will go to exceptional heights to put a strong hold to our ‘so-called’ denial.

How unexpected is it that simply a day after Navratri, when young ladies are revered as goddesses, two ladies are assaulted by the men they rejected? While one succumbed, other survived. 

All gratitude to the patriarchal society, men in India have been hard-wired to not take “no” for an answer, particularly from female counterparts. What’s more, in this manner a ton of the occasions when they hear a ladies’ ‘no’, what they really hear is “assault me,” “murder me.” Contest it on the off chance that you should yet where it counts you realize it is valid. Something comparable happened to Nikita Tomar, who was as of late shot dead to opposing a colleague’s proposition to get married. 

Say Yes or Die: Is this the India we dreamt of? 1

The next incident happened in Mumbai when Malvi Malhotra, a TV actress was stabbed by a producer after she purportedly dismissed his proposal for marriage. 

There are two issues here, first, the men concerned couldn’t take ‘no’ for an answer and second these two occurrences have raised the discussion once more over ladies’ security. 

Rejection becoming synonymous to murder?

Mark it social moulding or male centric bias however our men are not prepared to take ‘no’ for an answer. That is on the grounds that young men in general are denied nothing and given all that they need. They are an entitled entity from birth thus they don’t figure out how to acknowledge dismissal, frustration or disappointment. Not that young ladies don’t confront any of this but rather they are moulded to acknowledge whatever is subjected to them whether its acclaim or dismissal. 

Curious case of Pseudo-ego?

Men who are seeking after ladies simply need their response to be ‘yes’, more than they need their warmth. That they should regard the autonomy of ladies is only from time to time and is on the grounds that men organize their own needs and wants and avoid that of others. Furthermore, they feel a need, or even a privilege, to control and accept that a ‘no’ undermines that control. Thirdly, we should recall that they’re not generally asking, they’re requesting, thus ‘a no’ is insignificant. Perhaps the most ideal approaches to differentiate between a demand and a request is in how the individual responds to a ‘no’. At long last, some fundamental envy, instability, or other mental factor makes hearing the ‘no’ unendurably agonizing. The ‘no’ may, for instance, strike at their ability to be self-aware worth. 

Glamour world takes the fall

The entertainment world and not only Bollywood have placed it in our minds that first young ladies put on a show thus one needs to seek after them tirelessly for them to “concur”. In particular movies in India have consistently standardized following, badgering and coercing ladies. Take films like Raanjhanaa, Darr, Tere Naam, Wanted, Saawariya, Fan, Tanu Weds Manu Returns, Besharam, Sultan and Kabir Singh among numerous others as a valid example. 

One can’t disregard the verses of a portion of our tunes that standardize and romanticize following either. If we acknowledge it, our movies are significant influencers. Significant piece of our country’s population, majority of the youngsters, relies upon films for diversion and think of them as genuine business. In such a situation it turns into the duty of the entertainment world to give out the correct message. 

We live in a nation where individuals, particularly ladies, don’t know about their legal rights. Some aren’t educated enough to know and exercise the rights a lady is entitled by the Constitution. While other people who know about the rights are hesitant to practice due to the overall absence of confidence in the system which is regularly corrupted by power relations. However, what likewise addresses this hesitance is the dread to move toward the police particularly in the instances of assault and badgering. Documenting a grievance of assault or provocation carries disgrace and disgrace to the family on account of the established conviction that a lady who is assaulted or bugged has harmed her and her family’s repute. 

Concerning statistics of women safety in India:

A National Crime Record Bureau’s data titled ‘Crime in India’ 2019 report uncovers that violations against ladies has skyrocketed 7.3 percent from 2018 to 2019. As per NCRB – “A sum of 4,05,861 cases of crime against ladies were registered during 2019, demonstrating an increase of 7.3 percent more than 2018 (3,78,236 cases). 

In such a situation the authorities need to sit and think regarding what’s turning out badly, for what reason aren’t ladies safe? What should be done to make our cities and roads safer for them? 

Silence isn’t going to help:

With respect to the attitude that ladies are men’s property and should be controlled and ensured begins at homes. The change needs to start from our homes which will in the end pour out to society overall. There is honestly no other way. 

Ladies are goddesses for those nine days as well as every day. We have to fortify our young ladies to speak more loudly against harassment courageously. We have to educate men to deal with rejection maturely and think about ladies as human with equivalent rights to have a decision. Also, in conclusion, our system should be fortified. However, for that ladies’ safety and security should be the essential concern.

Image Source: Google

Written By:  Aishwarya Samanta

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