Marriages end for a variety of reasons, but one of the most common and difficult to overcome is the discovery that one partner has “cheated” on the other. Though most often it involves explicit sexual acts with someone other than one’s spouse or committed partner, there are also couples torn apart by a partner’s covert use of pornography, a purely emotional relationship with no sexual contact, virtual affairs, or even just ogling or flirting with a non-partner.
Infidelity is not a novel phenomenon. It has existed for as long as people have been in relationships, whether married or not. Marriage counsellors report that affairs can occur in both happy and troubled relationships.
According to official statistics, 15% of married women and 25% of married men have had extramarital affairs, according to national surveys. When emotional and sexual relationships without intercourse are included, the incidence rises by about 20%. As more women began working outside the home, so did their chances of having an affair.
However, simply because a partner cheats does not mean that the relationship is over. Another official report claims that many relationships continue after a partner cheats. In fact, some relationships become stronger and more intimate as a result of therapy.
So, what motivates people to cheat? Here’s what you need to know about why one partner decides to cheat on the other and what you should do if it happens.
Dissatisfaction with the marriage, driven by opportunity and temptation, is the main cause of most affairs. One partner may ignore their spouse’s emotional and sexual needs by devoting endless hours and days to work, housework, extracurricular activities, or even social media. Frequently, betrayed partners were blind to the problems in their relationship and failed to see that trouble was on the horizon.
Additionally, a partner’s personal problems, such as an inability to handle conflict, a fear of intimacy, a deep-seated insecurity, or changes in life circumstances that deprive the married relationship of the care and affection that once supported it, can occasionally cause the issue.
But with professional counselling and a mutual desire to keep the marriage intact, therapists maintain that couples have a good chance of overcoming the trauma of infidelity and avoiding what is frequently the more agonizing trauma of divorce, barring irreversible incompatibility or physical or emotional abuse.
Cheaters frequently don’t feel as though their relationship is lacking anything. Rather, the one who is cheating is addressing personal problems. The cheating partner frequently has low self-esteem, which can result in feelings of guilt and unworthiness.
People may experience feelings of disconnection from themselves or being lost in some manner at times. Thus, they search for an affair in order to close a gap, satisfy a need, or assist them in understanding a personal issue. It’s possible that they and their partner are getting along just fine.”
Looking For Excitement-
It doesn’t indicate that you’re flawed if you’ve been betrayed. Sex is a common component of cheating, but it’s rarely the main focus. It’s more about getting attention from a fresh person. The partner who is cheating has been together for a long time. If so, it might be related to the thrill of an unanticipated attraction.
What To Do if You’re Partner Cheated On You
Naturally, anyone who a partner has harmed should go to therapy in order to work through their complex emotions. When it occurs, you will be devastated, but that’s okay. It’s necessary to give yourself permission to experience those emotions and reactions since they make sense. But eventually, you also have to admit that your partner matters far more than you do.
Whether or not to stay with their partner is up to each individual.
What To Do if You’ve Cheated On Your Partner
If you hold monogamy, commitment, and trust in high regard and you’ve done something seriously at odds with them all, it’s imperative that you address this. Whether or not you disclose the infidelity to your partner.
Whatever the situation, it’s important to remember the following if you’ve cheated on your partner: acknowledge your emotions and behaviours, understand that you’re not a bad person, and take lessons from the mistake.
Since infidelity is a unique circumstance, it calls for special therapeutic techniques. Though not every relationship is the same, you should realize that if your partner has cheated on you, it probably has more to do with them than with you. Perhaps they are seeking excitement in something new, or perhaps they are feeling stuck or lost. In any case, that doesn’t justify what they did, and they will have to put in the effort to determine what caused them to act immorally and vice versa.
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